<Naypam> #reddit.dota2 pick your 5 best
<Naypam> we'll fuck you
<Trell> rofl
<aL|Samo> I'll 1v5 you mothafuckas
<dux0r> thats what your mom said
<gojira> it seems like a condition that possibly someday could not be met
<Raziel> yeah I don't like it either but
<Raziel> the same code is running __bot__ and has never hit issues
<Raziel> so whatever
<Naypam> 9-0 best possible score
<Naypam> 6
<Naypam> 6-90
<Naypam> 6-0
<Naypam> 4-2 worst
<Naypam> no
<Naypam> 6-3
<Naypam> fml
<BadFurDay> I understand why olivia is with you
<BadFurDay> you're the only person who makes her feel clever in comparison
<Naypam> I was at this party when I was 17
<Naypam> and my friend's parents were gone
<Naypam> and they had this marble egg
<Naypam> size of an egg
<lively> oh god
<Naypam> so one guy
<Naypam> puts the egg in a condom
<nonpc> oh god
<Naypam> puts it in his ass
<Naypam> then pulls it out
<Naypam> and starts chasing people with it
<Naypam> was so funny
<lively> WHAT
<nonpc> wat
<Naypam> him standing on the table
<Naypam> middle of the room
<Naypam> trousers round knees
<Naypam> with egg up his ass
<Naypam> it was fucking terrifying
<Naypam> he chased us around the village
<Naypam> party with 20 people
<Naypam> all running thhrough the streets
<Naypam> with a guy with a shit covered egg in a condom chasing us
<Naypam> scariest day of my life
<Bad> I'm a harsh rater
<Bad> Of both movies and women
<moop> rate me
<moop> wait
<moop> am no woman
<moop> nvm
<Bad> I rate you 3 as a woman, moop
<Bad> You have the voice and the facial hair
<Bad> Also the physical strength
<how-hiGh> tfw no appartments to smash a girl
<how-hiGh> Bad what to do
<Bad> car
<how-hiGh> no car
<Bad> club toilet
<Bad> hotel room
<how-hiGh> well club toilet is overly slutty thing, isn't it?!
<Bad> or just get an apartment
<how-hiGh> girl with self respect won't do it in toilet
<FredG> any girl would
<how-hiGh> fuaaaark short on money, but gonna rent it
<Bad> can confirm what FredG says
<Bad> for some reason, movies and stuff teach us that men are sex obsessed and women are pure or whatever
<Bad> but women also like sex you know
<Bad> and if they can't have it in an apartment they'll have it in a toilet
<Bad> they're just as desperate for it as we are
<FredG> ^
<how-hiGh> I don't want to do it in toiler, cuz I'll lose respect for her after it
<Bad> rofl
<Bad> you really have massive personal problems with women and purity
<how-hiGh> I do
<Bad> bro
<Bad> I currently can not bring back women to my flat
<Bad> I split with my ex in march, and she's moving out next week
<Bad> so I know your problem with no apartment to smash a girl
<Bad> I gave you answers
<Bad> car, toilet, hotel
<Bad> they all work and don't make it feel like the girl is worse or like you are shit
<Bad> there are no other good answers
<Bad> you'll have to live with it
<how-hiGh> my fav sex positions are horizontal
<Bad> when you don't have a flat to smash in, you can't be picky
<Bad> hotel room solves that problem though
<how-hiGh> yeah but needs money investment
<Bad> then you live the life everyone in the world lives between about 13 and 25 years old
<Bad> and you do it in a toilet
<Bad> having a place to have sex is the main reason why I got myself my own flat super early tbh
<how-hiGh> well gonna rent appartment I think
<Bad> Having your own place is only good things, not a single negative
<Bad> Worth the money and time you invest in it
<how-hiGh> should I rent for 24 hrs or just like 5-6 hrs?
<FredG> wat
<Bad> wat
<how-hiGh> the appartments
<how-hiGh> there is option to rent for a full day or just several hrs
<Bad> what the fuck am I reading
<Bad> you would rent an apartment just to have sex
<Bad> get a cheap hotel room
<how-hiGh> appartment = 1 room flat
<how-hiGh> hotel rooms are more expensive
<Bad> wtf is wrong with your country
<FredG> lol
<Bad> also I laughed at 5-6hrs
<Bad> it's for sex
<FredG> toilet is better
<how-hiGh> appartment I mean 1 room, kitchen, toilet
<Bad> rent for 5 minutes
<FredG> no such thing as self respect loss or whatever
<Bad> I agree with FredG actually
<FredG> even the girls who seem innocnet as fuck or pure as you put it enjoy toilet fucks
<FredG> or cars
<how-hiGh> Bad I don't cum quickly
<how-hiGh> I please my woman
<Bad> implying all women like when it lasts
<how-hiGh> implying all women wait for it to end ASAP?
<Bad> all I gotta say
<Bad> if you don't cum quickly either you didn't have sex many times in your life
<Bad> either you have very poor partners
<Bad> either you need to discover foreplay
<FredG> lol toilet fuck > 1 minute
<FredG> takes like 10 seconds
<Bad> wtf 10 seconds FredG
<Bad> world record for longest toilet fuck is at 2 seconds
<Bad> you're lying
<Bad> one time I lasted more than 1 second I was so proud
<FredG> rofl
<FredG> yeah that w/e
<FredG> same thing
<FredG> point is, it doesn't last a minute or an hour
<how-hiGh> lol @ cumming fast
<how-hiGh> just lol
<how-hiGh> girl won't beg you for more
<Bad> it depends on the girl, how-hiGh
<Bad> some girls like long fucks
<Bad> others get bored if it lasts too long
<Bad> it's almost like every girl is different wow
<Bad> who'd have thought
<how-hiGh> how can she get bored if she gets numerous orgasms?!!
<Bad> Fuck
<Bad> Didn't shake last drip properly
<Bad> And I'm wearing jogging trousers
<Bad> Both my legs are basically made of pee right now
<Bad> Worst feeling
<Naypam> > "[u'239.423.245.50']
<Naypam> 🤔
<Bad> Indeed Naypam
<Bad> My story is about I pee
<Naypam> 1p < 2p
<Bad> Raziel > me ?
<Naypam> tho 5p < all
<Naypam> those shitty small 5p coins
<Naypam> all coins should be gigantic
<Phixion> yeah like megabytecoin
<Phixion> you gotta have a massive last drop Bad
<Bad> Phixion: I was in a hurry
<Bad> Regrets are made
<Phixion> rush back to irc?
<Phixion> missed a hilight?
<Bad> I love how Naypam calls people prissy
<Bad> but he is a fucking flower of the highest order
<Bad> you're a flower Naypam
<Bad> that's what
<Raziel> you sure are wise
<moop> i am wise beyond my years that is true
<moop> hehe
<Valacar> wouldn't that mean that you are stupid within your ears
<Valacar> no wait years...
<Valacar> fml
<Valacar> carry on nothing to see here
<how-hiGh> Bad
<how-hiGh> how long do you last in bed? no homo
<moop> no homo?
<Bad> 10000 hours
<Bad> you forgot to add srs how-hiGh
<Bad> so I answered not seriously
<how-hiGh> srs Bad
<Bad> ok
<how-hiGh> on a serious note*
<Bad> it depends
<Bad> sometimes it's 2 minutes, sometimes it's 2 hours
<how-hiGh> frauding
<how-hiGh> 2 hrs
<Bad> depends on the context and the situation
<how-hiGh> well quickie in toilet on party for example
<Bad> LOL
<Bad> that would be 0.1 seconds
<Bad> and then shame
<how-hiGh> why shame
<Bad> because 0.1 seconds
<how-hiGh> who cares what women think srs
<how-hiGh> its not alpha
<Bad> I'm not alpha
<Bad> I'm not beta either though
<how-hiGh> omega
<Bad> yeah I'm omega
<Bad> exactly
<Bad> omega male
<how-hiGh> its worse than beta btw
<Bad> no problem
<Bad> keep getting muscled body
<Bad> I'll go get women on my side
<Bad> :)
<how-hiGh> maybe you even let women to sit on your face to please them?
<how-hiGh> srs
<Bad> if they like it, sure
<how-hiGh> and you do stuff with your tongue, right?
<Bad> of course
<Garner> what am i reading
<Garner> high school redditeu
<Bad> Garner: I'm helping how-hiGh understand what being normal is like, but it's not easy
<how-hiGh> well I don't know about pussay licking
<how-hiGh> it's not natural
<Raziel> you don't know about pussy lucking
<Raziel> only asshole licking?
<Garner> didn't they teach you about sex in school, how-hiGh
<how-hiGh> I lick nipples
<how-hiGh> and necks
<how-hiGh> hope its enough
<Bad> For some women it's enough
<Bad> For others it's not
<Bad> Every woman likes different things
<Bad> Some don't like pussy licking, some love it
<how-hiGh> latter are called whores, right?
<Bad> Maybe
<Raziel> by nowadays standards to be a decent BF you have to lick anus
<Garner> if you don't do it you virgin
<Garner> srs
<Bad> Raziel: srs
<how-hiGh> Raziel quoting me right now :D
<how-hiGh> Bad what is pussy juice tastes like?
<Bad> LOL
<Bad> I can't even answer this question
<how-hiGh> do you enjoy it?
<Bad> pussy juice has no taste
<Bad> it has as much taste as kissing a mouth or whatever
<how-hiGh> its like saliva?
<Bad> unless your woman is not clean at all
<Bad> some women have a bit of a taste
<how-hiGh> Bad can you be my mentor? I might need to contact you when I'll get a GF
<Bad> but never seen a bad one
<Bad> LOL
<Bad> this is too funny
<Raziel> omfg
<Garner> yes
<Bad> Raziel: help
<Garner> he can be
<how-hiGh> semi srs
<Bad> (troll)
<Raziel> I spit out water
<Raziel> brb
<Bad> hahahahhaha
<Garner> rofl'd
<Bad> You know how-hiGh
<Bad> The thing that you need to do is actually communicate with your girl
<Bad> Ask her what she likes or does not like when you have sex
<Bad> And tell her what you would like her to do when you have sex
<Bad> It will be better for you and her
<how-hiGh> I remember making a thread on bb.com about losing my virginity
<Garner> wat
<Bad> Garner: It's a tradition on bb.com
<how-hiGh> and they said it was weird of me to ask her several times whether she came or not
<Bad> phaggot
<Garner> oh
<Bad> LOL
<Bad> You do not ask that
<Garner> jhahahahahaha
<Bad> At all
<Bad> If a woman comes you notice it
<how-hiGh> I didn't know then
<moop> if Bad gonna mentor how-hiGh i want him to mentor me too
<Bad> Hahahhaha
<Bad> Poor girl
<moop> i want to learn to cook like Bad
<Bad> She must have felt so ashamed
<Bad> moop: Sure, it's easy ! Anytime
<Garner> maybe not
<Garner> maybe girls in ukraine are also weird
<how-hiGh> Bad I want to assure you that she came several times during that night
<Garner> is it lesbian if i suck penis
<Garner> srs
<Bad> Garner: Imagine having sex as a girl and your guy keeps asking if you came
<how-hiGh> because my endurance was on top level
<how-hiGh> lol
<how-hiGh> I asked not during the actual intercourse, but in short breaks we took
<Garner> oh yeah
<Garner> tea time
<Garner> standard
<Bad> You do not need to ask that after sex rofl
<Bad> You will know by yourself if she came or not
<Bad> There are things a woman can't fake
<moop> well tbh some people can't read others
<moop> like, autists
<Bad> Yes moop it's called autism
<Bad> :D
<Bad> m'oop
<how-hiGh> are you hinting on me
<moop> how-hiGh: no i'm hinting on me
<Bad> type hinting
<how-hiGh> well
<how-hiGh> Bad so its okay to ask a girl "do you want me to lick your sugar walls?"
<Bad> Yes
<how-hiGh> on first date or before actual sex?
<Garner> rofl
<Bad> When the sex starts
<Bad> Before inserting penis in vagina
<Bad> You can ask if she enjoys receiving oral
<moop> and do call them sugar walls
<Bad> Most women do, but not all
<Garner> ^
<Bad> So it's better to ask
<how-hiGh> okay thanks for making it clear
<how-hiGh> I never had one
<how-hiGh> > age 24
<Bad> I like blowjobs, but not from every girl
<Bad> Some girls give garbage blowjobs
<moop> and stick a finger up the bum
<moop> yes
<moop> i know
<Bad> Yeah that doesn't help hhahahah
<Garner> hhahahah
<how-hiGh> you notice how Raziel becomes silent when we share our sex experience?
<how-hiGh> looks like self ownage
<how-hiGh> he must be jelly as hell
<Bad> Clearly is
<Bad> Right now Raziel is EXTREMELY jelly
<Bad> I am 100% sure of it
<how-hiGh> yeah might even doing desperate jerking right now
<Garner> i'd prefer being virgin than being how-hiGh
<how-hiGh> thats offensive
<Raziel> fuck off I'm watching true detective
<how-hiGh> Bad is answering all question tonight
<Bad> you get a very thin hollow glass tube and insert it into a man's urethra then you hit the penis with a hammer, smashing said glass tube inside of the guys penis.