<Naypam> after sleepover
<Naypam> went for showher, masturbate on floor
<Naypam> have shower
<Naypam> perfecet
<Naypam> but everybody's done that too
<Naypam> also omg was a party
<Naypam> hot girls and everything
<Naypam> but I masturbated in the toilet
<Naypam> was awesome
<Naypam> then went for a walk with a friend smoking
<Naypam> like a tree
<BFD|Slave> god
<BFD|Slave> this guy
<Naypam> BFD|Slave nightmare
<BFD|Slave> is King Wank
<BFD|Slave> more wanker than a wanker
<kage> what can i say...
<Naypam> yeah but when you'er like 15
<Naypam> you see a leg
<Naypam> FAP FAP FAP
<BFD|Slave> at a party with hot girls
<BFD|Slave> BETTER FAP
<BFD|Slave> what the fuck
<Naypam> well it was after the party had died down
<kage> nay, does haiku know all this ?
<kage> is he gonna wake up one day
<kage> and see you on top of his bed
<kage> masturbating ?
<BFD|Slave> kage: rofl, I can imagine haiku arriving at Naypam's place, and nay going "Yeah so we'll have to share a bunk bed"
<BFD|Slave> With a huge smile on his face
<kage> like the one i'm having right now
<kage> right ?
<BFD|Slave> yes
<BFD|Slave> pretty much
<kage> that would be awesome
<dux0r> =/
<Naypam> it's okay
<Naypam> I'm the master of subtlty
<Juno> the bash quotes thing sucks anyway
<Juno> no good ones
<Raziel> Erm
<Raziel> So
<Raziel> There's gotta be a first time for everything in life right
<Naypam> please Raziel
<Naypam> continue
<moop> oh boy Raziel
<moop> just had gay sex the poor lad
<Naypam> I know rite moop
<Naypam> glad our minds went to the same place
<Raziel> Including having an irresistible shit while you're biking home to your hotel
<moop> oh boy
<moop> that's no fun Raziel
<moop> what did you do
<Raziel> Like diarrhea level shit
<Naypam> I guess that riding the bike
<Naypam> would open your arse a bit
<moop> did you reach the hotel?
<Raziel> Yes I just finished showering
<Bad> Lmao Raziel you moron
<Raziel> Showering me and my clothes...
<Raziel> :-(
<moop> aw :(
<moop> but, like, were there casualties Raziel
<Raziel> I don't know
<moop> well now you have a story Raziel
<Raziel> I even went to the toilet before leaving
<moop> means you ate something bad
<Raziel> No shits were had then
<Raziel> At least i could move fast on a mostly empty bike road
<Raziel> And run up to my hotel room
<Raziel> This was a huge amount
<Raziel> Like
<Raziel> I don't even want to describe
<Raziel> Seafood + alcohol
<Raziel> Not good for me
<Raziel> But i swear i went on the toilet just before leaving!
<Raziel> I took every precaution :-(
<Naypam> rofl Raziel
<Naypam> poor
<ad13> hah, disaster
<Valacar> wait so this was Raziel's first time he shat outdoors?
<Raziel> I've shat outdoors before valacar
<Raziel> But usually i pull down my pants and squat first
<Valacar> oh wait you shat on the move?
<moop> ya Raziel
<moop> why didn't you stop the explosive diarrhea
<moop> just find a cork
<moop> ez
<moop> ok that's too mean
<moop> i'm sorry Raziel
<moop> cheer up, it's all over now
<Valacar> pls moop it's too late for moopsies
<ad13> haha, good show though
<Raziel> I was on the bike, suddenly shit, panicked, biked back to hotel as fast as I could, ran to my room and showered while taking my clothes off
<moop> poor bike
<Valacar> the critical question that begs for an answer is the volume of shit that got out
<Raziel> Did you expect me to measure the volume?
<ad13> well, feel free to use a freeform scale
<Raziel> My shirt got stained, that should tell you enough
<ad13> roflllllllllllllllll HOW? HOW???
<Valacar> so thats quite bad
<Raziel> I dunno man
<Raziel> Squeezed upwards by the bike seat?
<moop> imagine gay porn but with burritos instead of dicks
<Raziel> erm
<moop> ikr
<moop> what was i thinking sharing that
<moop> in my defense i was browsing /r/gay_irl
<Raziel> as you do
<Valacar> why tho
<moop> i was in the bathroom
<Garner> mfw haven't fapped in two weeks
<Garner> forgot
<BFD|Slave> So nonpc
<BFD|Slave> What do you think about anal stimulation?
<BFD|Slave> Inserting items into your own ass for sexual enjoyment?
<nonpc> well.
<nonpc> not my thing, as of now.
<nonpc> whatever makes you feel good, I suppose.
<lively> i like the as of now
<lively> keeping his faggot side open
<Naypam> I got fit so easily when I worked outside
<Naypam> was strongest EU
<foxpc> fit
<Naypam> arms of steel
<Naypam> was good shit
<Raziel> what job was that Naypam?
<ad13> omg
<Naypam> cleaning up the streets :D
<Naypam> I'm going on stats! he's playing really well
<Naypam> lost to classic but meh
<Bad> Classic is godlike in PvP though
<Bad> As I told you
<Bad> And you didn't believe me
[ earlier that month ]
<Bad> Naypam: Classic ? - ? Stats (bo7)
<Bad> 2-4 imo
<Bad> Naypam: btw I'm actually rooting for Classic
<Bad> Even though Stats gon win
<Bad> Got hopes that Classic can upset
<Bad> Gogogo
<Naypam> I'm rooting for stats ofc
<moop> also the lady that was on the phone kept calling me a she
<moop> 🤔
<moop> this is pretty emasculating
<moop> should i sue her for emasculating a cripple?
<Raziel> moop adventures
<moop> she literally attacked my identity
<moop> this is horrible
<moop> i could get depressed
<moop> could kill myself
<moop> she should be put in jail
<moop> I AM A MAN
<moop> a manly man
* moop flexes 💪
<Valacar> the more important thing is that you did not correct her
<moop> rofl i actually did
<moop> Valacar: you think she cared?
<moop> she was mocking me
<moop> tbh she realized eventually
<moop> not when i corrected her tho
<Valacar> wew
<Valacar> harsh
<moop> this is worse than rape by deception
<kage> i'd honestly just have a rib removed so i could suck my own cock, if my hands stopped working